Sleeping the Right Way

Now I know what they mean when they say don't sleep on your back when you're pregnant. I haven't been heeding this advice. But starting tonight I will.  Last night I woke to the pain of smashed kidneys. Lying on my back, I quickly turned to my side. Then I stumbled out of bed and sprinted to the bathroom to relieve my compressed, full kidneys. Poor things. I have been abusing them all this time because sleeping on my back is my most favorite position. But what do I expect when 50 pounds of belly is free-falling on to them? Like stone-weighting, a gruesome torture method used in the medieval times when confessions were forced out of people as heavy stones were set on their bodies, my kidneys were being subjected to the weight of the massive boulder that is my belly. Then I heard that lying on your left side is the best position for mid-term pregnancy. Why is that? What's the difference between the left side and the right side? It must have something to do with the mother's heart. Maybe it has to do with the baby's heart. Who knows. But I am going to have to switch from side to side because I will not be comfortable either way. But for the sake of my kidneys, I will become a side sleeper.  Actually, I have caught sight of my large, pregnant belly while laying on my side. I look like a horse that is about to give birth, with a heaving stomach to deal with. The belly sort of distorts, bearing forward as the side concaves inwardly.  Not a pretty site. I am not going to look at it anymore, which may be difficult to avoid, because I will now only be laying on my side. I have no other choice. I want my kidneys. I need my kidneys.  I got weighed today at the doctor's, and I know that no kidney can withstand the kind of weight that I have crammed into my 8-month pregnant body.  I wonder what other organs are being crunched during the night as I sleep?  Maybe sleeping on my side will alleviate the urinal impulses that propel me out of bed several times a night.  Something's gotta give because the frequent trips to the toilet and the pain of crushed organs is not my idea of getting rested up before the baby comes. And I need all the sleep I can get at age 46.  All the books tell you to get a lot of sleep. Yeah, right.  It's not happening. My body has gone on auto-pilot and seems to function on sporadic sleep. I can't even remember the last time I got 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. But I have a small,  four-week window of opportunity between now and the birth to practice sleeping on my side and getting those wonderful 8 hours in, maybe?