Preparation Intact

What I have been putting off for fear of getting ahead of myself and jinxing the baby, I have now accomplished in the last two days...organizational nesting. Sounds like a master's degree program.  It was a lot of work.  Baby cloths were sorted, labeled and put in proper drawers.  Crib is fully functional, with all accouterments in place, such as blankies, border padding, mobiles, etc.  The baby car seat is all clean and ready for baby. I even packed what I need to take to the hospital.  I referred to a list found in What to Expect When You're Expecting, the bible of all pregnancy guide books. In fact, it has an unfair market share and needs a formidable competitor.  There is a lot of material in there that is simply bogus.  And it spends far too many pages, in fact a chapter, on what can go wrong.  That's not the kind of information expecting mothers, especially 46 year-old ones want to read.  But the "What to Take to The Hospital" list is pretty funny. Included on the list are a bottle of champagne, make up, a deck of cards, and pads.  If the hospital isn't going to provide me with pads, then they neither care about their sheets or they are horribly cheap. They are going to get thousands of dollars out of my insurance company, so they better well cough up some soaking pads for my lovely discharges.  They $350 per night room charge is shocking enough.  I am going to bring make up, though.  If those first pictures taken while holding the baby are any indication of a women's true beauty, I am in for a big jolt of reality.  Every crevice and disfigurement of my ashen, sagging face will be clearly evident.  Add on makeuplessness to the formula, and I will be the vision of a freak show. Nope, I'm taking lots of make up with me. But I'll leave the champagen and deck of cards behind.  My and the baby's going-home outfit are also packed. For me, I chose a lovely maternity suit, because I know that will be all that will fit me.  This suit no longer goes over the burgeoning belly now, but once baby is out of that space, I am making the grand assumption that I will, indeed, fit into it. (If my presumptuousness proves me wrong, I think I'll have myself transferred from the birth center to the liposuction wing.) Baby's outfit, of course, is green and yellow. Sorry baby, I don't know what sex you are! Well, now that I am pretty much prepared as if the baby were going to be born this afternoon, all I have to do is get in the proper mindset that I will soon be a 46-year old mother of two under the age of five. Yikes!  Stay tuned for tomorrow, because the page will be filled with one huge theme:......I forgot how to take care of a newborn!!!!