The Bike Ride

Okay, so yesterday I had this brilliant idea to go on a family bike ride. I would ride a bike by myself, and daughter and dad would go in the kiddie seat big bike. It all started out fine. The first two blocks, that is. Then fatigue set in quickly and my back immediately started to hurt as I realized my bike seat was set too high. I pulled over and adjusted my seat accordingly. Easy enough. Getting back on the bike was not as simple. I had to practically position the bike so that it was parallel to the ground in order to straddle it without disrupting the big bulge of mine. No matter how low I had manipulated the bike, the belly still got a leg thrust into it. I decided I had better not make too many stops on this ride. Getting on was proving to be more than a nuisance. Further down on the ride, I realized that now that the seat was lower, my back was doing better, but my poor pregnant belly was getting more than an ever-so-slight bang each time the two knees came up for their rotation. I decided to coast as much as possible. Except there were no hills. I could coast maybe 20 yards at a time. Somewhat of a respite to the battered belly, but not enough. In fact, a hill was coming up I'd have to climb. Uggh, It was hard. Daughter and dad had long before realized I was failing on the ride, as they'd have to double back every 800 feet or so. At least they were concerned for me. Now my hands were getting raw holding the handle bars and my neck was getting strained from being slightly down so that my hands could grasp the handle bars correctly. I was now switching between clasping them with the fingers only and with the whole hand. Each switch forced my neck to be elevated or downward. This wasn't good. On top of that my bottom was becoming increasingly sore. Now I don't know if that had to do with the fact that it (my bottom) was now being smooshed with more weight as a result of expanding pregnancy, or if it had to do with the fact that I am a far too infrequent bike rider. My only thought was, "how in the world do those long distance bike riders avoid bone crushing derriere pain as they sit on tiny seats?"  I had to pullover. Dad and daughter were already prepared because I had now fallen back more than a quarter of a mile. The first thing my daughter said to me when I caught up to them was, "Mom, you're slow". My three-year old is criticizing my bike riding abilities. I needed water.  There was still a mile to get home. The knee-jerked belly, the sore bottom, the chaffed hands, and strained neck were combining to turn the family bike ride into a family crisis..."Get me home on a a stretcher!" my head was silently screaming. But my daughter's daring look for me to carry on was too much. I do have pride, you know. Back on the bike I went and finished the last mile with clenched teeth and utter determination. Dismounting at the door of the apartment was the last difficult thing I'd have to conquer. The poor, battered belly got one last punding as my tired right leg came swinging over.  I practically pushed the bike into the hands of Dad to get it back down into the basement. I don't want to see that thing again until next spring. My biking days are over for now. I will have to think of another physical outdoor activity for next weekend. The moral of my story?: Five month pregnant 46 year-olds with huge bellies shouldn't ride a bike.