Shopping for Clothes

As a largely-pregnant person, it is often not a good idea to go into women's clothing stores. This is where I found myself much of the afternoon, following my friend from one store to the next, even to a second-hand store selling designer rejects.  I had envisioned my friend and I going to museums and strolling parks for the day. But I non-sensibly suggested a meeting spot that happened to be on a busy shopping intersection. I followed her into the stores and saw clothes that I knew I wouldn't wear in my lifetime. Well, it seemed that way when I was looking at the outfits.  I can barely fit into my maternity clothes anymore. Can't they make maternity pants that stay up? The ones I have keep slipping down because the lower part of my stomach protrudes so much that is acts like a shelf. Unless the fabric can fit over the big, swelling hump, the pants quickly migrate to my hip line. And the belly is exposed for all the world to see. Not a pretty site. None of the maternity tops I own are long enough to cover the exposure. So, I spend half the time pulling the pants up where they stay for a sacred five minutes before having to repeat the action again. And this is what I did while following my friend around while she looked for cute dresses, skirts and sweaters.  Even though a "normal" person knows that they can wear anything they want if they really want to, a pregnant person doesn't see past the horizon of being grotesquely huge and having to wear tent-like attire for the rest of her natural life. It's as if life as we know it in our third trimester is what life is always going to be like going forward. We don't fit in to regular society. We don't fit in to regular clothes. We're outcasts.  That nice sweater dress and matching leggings is something I'll never purchase, let alone wear. We shouldn't even be thinking about clothes. We don't belong in a normal person's store. We are am doomed to walk the earth forever in burlap sacks and blankets. I have to get out of this store. I need to go to the bathroom.  I am leaking down there and my pants won't stay up.  Is there a store for that?